|i hope i didn't just soil myself
||[Apr. 26th, 2006|03:52 am]
the long pause while you come to your senses
|||||typity type type type||]|
so i guess i've officially beaten the odds and my own stupidity of action and managed to survive a full year of being legally able to drink. honestly? looking back at how shitty terrible god awful a year its been, i should have spent a considerably larger portion of it drinking. i did do the responsible thing and spent most of it not drunk, which if you know me shouldn't come as any surprise, its not really my thing. but it probably wouldn't have hurt to have drank heavily an average of 3 weeks a month. cause lets face it, no matter how shitty things get, you can get shitfaced and black out and not remember how shitty things have been.
the title to this entry is a tenative title for my as yet unwritten memoirs. i think it gives valuable insite into all that is aleks.
it kind of irritates that the only thing that i actually want for my birthday is completely out of reach and a waste of my time hoping for. regardless. i wish. i wish i wish i wish and i can't stop thinking about it. and that's probably all i've got in my power to do.
i think the parents are gonna give me a gym membership and some dough towards a new car. blah and blah. i kinda want both but the new car is going to be mine come june regardless. the gym membership? great plan, looking forward to it, but blah regardless.
3rd year in a row that technically i worked on my birthday. unlike the previous two years, i'm at least going to make an attempt at having a party, but ultimately i'm fairly certain it'll attract all of maybe 10 people and i'll end up in a corner somewhere, passed out with a bottle of jack softly nestled either in between my legs or in my right hand. call me the optimist.
its been like 3 weeks since i smoked. saying no is a bitch. probably be helpful if i knew someone, anyone, who doesn't smoke. oh well. i'll get my test done with on may 5 and be back in the saddle about 10 minutes later.
and umm yeah, this is going to be the last entry available for everyone to read. sorry bout your luck. peace. i'm going to go take advantage of the birthday present that i actually need: a full nights sleep.